Pikmin 3:The parody
by The master of parody
Summary: What the Third installment in the Pikmin series might be like. This time, the bulborbs are bringing the battle to planet Hocotate.
1. Couldn't think of a name for this chap

Disclaimer: I do not own Pikmin. Pikmin is owned by Nintendo. However… I do have ambitious plans for brainwashing.

This is my first FanFic, so I may not quite have gotten the timing and flow of the jokes correctly yet.

And now, on to the story:

PIKMIN 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chapter 1: It's really hard to think up of good name for this chapter

A long long time ago, in a galaxy far far away….absolutely nothing happened. But in the present… Louie was having moral qualms while he was delivering a shipment of silver pik-pik radishes. A little stereotypical demon character sat on his shoulder, saying "Louie! Why don't you just sell these and pocket the profit?" A stereotypical angel sat on his other shoulder. "No Louie, you must fulfill your duty to Hocotate Frate and… It was cut off as not so stereotypical large and small intestine characters fell upon both of his shoulders, crushing the other 2 characters. "EAT THE RADISHES!" They screamed. "Eat them! Eat them!" "I think I'm gonna have to trust my stomach on this one" thought Louie as he pulled his silverware out of a holster on his side. However, Louie's soon to be eating spree was interrupted as a gigantic spaceship designed to look like a empress bulborb flew past, heading directly to planet hocotate. "Holy fried turnips! I have to warn Olimar!" he exclaimed.

Meanwhile, on planet Hocotate… Olimar reluctantly dragged himself out of bed to get the telephone. As he listened to the news, a look of concern spread across his face. "Holy #$! I have to get the boss! A little later… "This had better be good," muttered Louie's boss. "Louie broke into the secret beer stash!" shouted Olimar! His boss calmly got up, filled a glass of water, drank some, and spewed it out onto Olimar. " He did What!" screamed his boss.. "He's got to be drunk, because he was talking about giant flying bulborbs!" "Hey wait a minute…How do you know about my secret beer stash?" queried the boss. "Ummmmm…" Olimar was thankfully saved from having to answer the question, as the space ship Louie had just seen landed right outside the Hocotate freight corporation. Hordes of bulborbs and other creatures started pouring out of it. The most notable of them were two dwarf red bulborbs wearing green and red spacesuits that had stalks attached to them, each stalk ending in a neon green or red light. "Hey," mused Olimar. "Those two look like me and Louie when we're in our spacesuits!" "&$!" said the boss. "Louie isn't drunk!" The invasion of hocotate frate continued, as the bulborb armies started smashing up the hocotate frate buildings and causing pandemonium. "The only chance I have of stopping our company from getting totally destroyed is getting my space suit, taking our ship to the pikmin planet, gathering up a pikmin army, and coming back here to stop these creatures! But getting my suit won't be easy! I'll have to go in the alien mother ship, sneak past the space pirates, go through the chozo temple and…" "Um, I think you're getting mixed up with a different game. Your suit is at the drycleaners" cut in Olimar's boss. " Oh… Oops" said Olimar. As he walked out the door of the building where his boss's office was, he was confronted by the two peculiar spacesuit donning bulborbs. "This time, with our new strategy "If you can't beat them, rip them off", we're bringing the battle to your planet this time!" said the red one, even as the green one whistled and about ten dwarf red, white, and orange bulborbs came running over. Olimar tried to run, but the red one floored him with one kick. The bulborbs, which were surprisingly fast on their short stubby legs, had surrounded Olimar by the time he had gotten up. "Bwahaha, bow down to our might, small mammal!" said the green one. Olimar said the only thing that could come to his mind. "Look, somebody wrote "gullible" on the ceiling!" blurted out Olimar. "Please, we're not even inside! How gullible do you think we…" The red spacesuit wearing bulborb stopped as realized that everybody but him was staring upwards, except Olimar, who was running away. "D'oh!" grunted the bulborb. Olimar sprinted towards the dry cleaners, but was stopped by a dwarf bulbear. Olimar hit it with a flurry of punches, causing a health meter to appear above it's head, and then decrease until it turned yellow. Quicker then a wink, Olimar had his cell phone out and was calling the Namco corporation before the bulbear had known what had hit it! "Ugh… wait, how would calling Namco help Olimar?" pondered the bulbear. Then realization dawned as the bulbear looked up, noticing that the health bar above it's head looked just like Pac-Man. But it was too late for it, as Namco lawyers had already arrived on the scene and began suing the living daylights out of the poor bulbear.

Meanwhile, on the pikmin planet… A yellow suited dwarf bulborb that looked like Olimar's boss in his spacesuit was gathering up forces to slay the pikmin. He was just revealing himself to one red pikmin onion with a force of 2 armored cannon beetle larva, one red bulborb, and 6 male sheergrubs. "Now is the time to prove myself to my red and blue suited brethren that I can competently exterminate the pikmin! Troops… ATTACK!"

Bob the red pikmin woke up one morning to the shaking of his onion as it was pounded by huge rocks launched from the guts of 2 armored cannon beetle larvas. He and every other pikmin in the onion, except for one, went outside to find out what was going on. They were 14 in number. "Any last words, pik-morons?" chuckled the yellow suited bulborb. "Yeah, replied Bob, "We defeated you in the last two games, so what makes you think you can defeat us now?" "This" said the bulborb, taking something out of it's pocket. "Noooooooo! We're all doomed! PANIC!" Bob screamed as soon as he saw what it was.

Cliffhanger! Can Olimar safely get to the dry - cleaners? What is it that Bob's so afraid of? Can Louie deliver the shipment without eating it? Will I ever stop asking these stupid questions? Tell me if you like my story, and all suggestions are welcome.


	2. Chemical Warfare

Disclaimer: I still do not own pikmin or Nintendo.

At the time I'm writing this, nobody has reviewed yet... so please review!

Chapter 2: Chemical warfare (I could think of a chapter name this time!)

Olimar's boss realized that he had to do something to fend off the invasion too. His secret beer stash was at risk! He tried calling the Hocotate military first. "Why do you think we can defeat bug eyed aliens!? We just surrendered to the French yesterday! The friggin' French!(no offense to French people)" "Some help they were" grumbled the boss. He was going to have to take matters into his own hands.

Meanwhile, Olimar had made it to the dry cleaners without further incident. Fortunately, his suit was finished being cleaned. He was about to put it on when a bumbling snitchbug came out of the blue and swiped it from him. "Of all the (expletive deleted) luck I could have gotten, I got this (BLEEEEEP) luck where a (censored) snitchbug -#$! hole stole my (This word would give a nun a heart attack) suit!" Suddenly, out of nowhere, a lighting bolt struck the bumbling snitchbug. It fell down and died. "Wow this must be my lucky day! I've never been so happy before!" However, Oli-mood swing didn't stop to wonder exactly where the bolt of electricity had come from, and thus didn't see the huge hoard of parachuting anode beetles and lightning dweevils being air dropped from puffy blow hogs. His first clue was when a huge bolt of lightning nearly hit him. "Oh crud" he thought as he saw the ridiculously large grid of electric insects that were around him. All of them were charging up. There was only one thing he could do: Take a nap. Suddenly all the lightning dweevils surged towards Olimar. This was the thoughts of their tiny brains: "Gotta scurry around looking stupid. Gotta pick up stuff. Gotta zap stuff. Wait! Fleshy thingy not moving! Pick it up! PICK IT UP FOR PETE's SAKE! PICK IT UP!!!!!" A lot of the anode beetles were flipped over in the commotion, and the electrical surge they released didn't come close to hitting Olimar. Olimar quickly woke up and got away in the commotion. But wait! What had happened to the suit? Olimar spun around only to see that a greater jellyfloat was making off with his suit! And on top of it was the green suited bulborb! "You see Olimar, I'll always be about 80 gazillion steps ahead of..." his sentence was cut off as he smacked into a low hanging branch and fell off the jellyfloat. Olimar quickly ran up to him, preparing to administer a severe beating, but it whistled, calling over a cloaking burrow-nit to protect him. It shot out it's long nose, but Olimar dodged

it and said "Watch what you're doing with that thing, burrowing nit wit Pinocchio!"

On the pikmin planet, the yellow suited bulborb had just pulled out a bottle of industrial strength herbicide. All the pikmin ran around screaming their heads off as he relentlessly sprayed away, causing their leafs to shrivel up. But just then, the one wise pikmin who had stayed inside the onion came out, and threw a bottle of raid for Bob the pikmin to catch. He leaped up and caught in in midair. "Okay, you play dirty, I'll play dirty!" taunted Bob. "If it's chemical war fare you want, it's chemical warfare you've got!" said the yellow suited bulborb. They both sprayed their weapons at each other, and the noxious clouds met in midair, dissipating each other. Bob sprayed like a madman charging towards his adversary, but the bulborb jumped to bob's side, spraying bob's legs. Bob dropped to the ground. "It burns it burns!" he screamed. The bulborb saw his opening and attacked, but Bob countered his spray with one of his own and scrambled back up. Meanwhile, the other pikmin were fighting the large red bulborb, the 2 cannon beetles, and the 6 sheergrubs. 5 pikmin thought it would be a good idea to stand in between the cannon beetles to make them shoot each other. However, one critical part of their plan was missing, which was the part were they moved out of the line of fire. The 2 boulders crushed all of the pikmin, and smashed into each other instead of the cannon beetles. Then 5 of the 8 pikmin left(besides the wise pikmin who had ran away by now and Bob, who was battling the yellow suited bulborb commander) were eaten by the large red bulborb as they were distracted battling the sheergrubs. The sheergrubs were easily able to mop up the 3 pikmin remaining. Bob leaped in slow motion at the bulborb commander, but he easily side stepped him and shoved the herbicide spray bottle down his throat. Remember, Bob was in slow motion. The yellow suited bulborb looked at the carnage he had created, all without one casualty on his side. After quickly finishing destroying the pikmin onion, he looked for more pikmins to murder.

The pikmins, due to their stupidity, became separated after Olimar left after defeating the Titan Dweevil, and soon their numbers dwindled to no more than about 20 per onion at the most. As such they were ill suited to face the bulborb attack. Still, there was one person who could save them, and that was what a yellow and white pikmin were discussing. "Don't worry, I'm sure Super-Bulbmin can save us! He's immune to every elemental hazard!" Just then a purple pikmin came in. "Man, that was a tough battle! There was this one bulborb that was even wearing a fake leaf stalk to mock us, and he was like, immune to every hazard we lured him into, be it water, fire, electricity, or poison! But us purples came and beat it's brains in! Hey, wait, why are you crying?"

Can the pikmin defeat the bulborb menace on their planet? Will Olimar ever find his suit? And what about Louie and Olimar's boss? Find out in my next chapter, titled Pikmin: Battle Pie (With all respect to Ferahgo the Assassain, of course)


	3. Pikmin: Battle Pie

Finally, Chapter 3 is here. Thanks for the reviews! I'll try to separate my paragraphs from now on.

In this chapter, 2 different uses for pie are found...

Chapter 3: Pikmin: Battle Pie

Where we left on the pikmin home world, the pikmin were wondering what should be done to save themselves. Eventually, all the pikmin gathered in one place for a meeting. "I'd like to call this meeting to order! Any suggestions about how we can defeat the bulborbs?" announced a blue pikmin. "Didn't we have battle plans we made if such a situation happens when the red leader and yellow leader left?" "Okay let's see what these are...they read... "rush recklessly into battle and hope the bulborbs are deathly allergic to the pollen from our flowers" ... somehow I don't think that these will work..."

Somewhere underground... "Yes!" cried out the one bulborb who was allergic to the pollen from pikmin flowers.

Aboveground, at the meeting... " I know! Let's create a Trojan pie!" suggested one pikmin. "Um, how would that work?" "What we'll do is create a gigantic pie, and give it to the bulborbs as a peace offering. However, the pie will be hollow, so that when it's taken to their leader, we'll all spring out and kill their leader! And then I'll take the place of their leader, and take over the world using his mighty bulborb army! BWAHHAHAHAHA! Wait... note to self... do not say last part of maniacal plan out loud."

Fortunately for him, the discussion caused by the first part of his plan was loud enough to drown out the second part. "Order! Order!" called out the blue pikmin leading the group. This sounds like a good plan. Any complaints?" "Yeah, just a tiny one... THIS IS LIKE THE FRIGGIN STUPIDIST PLAN EVER! I mean, what if they eat the pie, with us in it, before taking it to their leader?" "Who says we throw the infidel off a cliff?" asked the pikmin who came up with the plan. "AYE!" Almost every pikmin said. If they get latched on to an idea, almost nothing can deter pikmin.

One untimely pikmin death later... " Wait! Who'll be the pikmin to give the pie to the bulborbs?" Asked one pikmin. "It should probably be a white pikmin so that the bulborbs don't eat him." However, all the white pikmin had conveniently vanished at that time. So the pikmin had to go with a slightly riskier plan...

"ZZZ...I hope the leader won't notice that I took his coffee again...ZZZ...Glug glug glug...ZZZ I really have to quit this addiction to caffeine...ZZZ" suddenly, the Orange Bulborb's sleep-talking was interrupted when a red pikmin approached him. "GAAA! This isn't what looks like boss! Oh, it's just a snack..." Then the bulborb saw the tee-shirt that the red pikmin was wearing that said "I am a white pikmin". "Hmm... you don't look white..." "Umm... I just got a really bad burn..." responded the pikmin. "I don't know... I still think you're a red pikmin..." "Egad! Use logic! If I was a red pikmin, I wouldn't have gotten burned!" "Oh, I guess you're right... what is it you want?"

On planet hocotate, Olimar was battling the cloaking burrow nit as the green leader was climbing back on the greater jellyfloat and getting away with Olimar's suit. The burrow nit launched it's nose out, but Olimar side stepped it and grabbed it's nose, and then started stamping on it as he said "Ugh! I am so sick of chasing after my suit! I'm not about to let you get in my way!"

Olimar left the burrow nit with one of the worst nose bleeds ever as Olimar marched off to his ship to get some peanut butter which he was going to use as part of a plot to get his suit back. "And oh yeah Master Of Parody, if you even think about leaving getting my suit back to another chapter, I'll smash your nose in so bad, it'll make what I did to the burrow nit over there a mere case of the sniffles!"

Later... "Just open the stupid bay door!" screamed Olimar at his ship. "I can't do that, Dave," said the computer. "Why the F---- not? And my name isn't Dave!" " You want to shut me down, don't you?" "What gave you that dumb idea?" The computer started reading from Olimar's diary. "Day 22: Is the computer drinking some form of robo-beer when it names treasures? What do I even need it for anyways? Day 26: That gold paint the ship got is going to it's head. I'm thinking about shutting it down just to stop the arrogance and the stupidity... " "Ok ok! Just beam up this one berry for me!" "Nice try. There's no way you can get in short of using unlocked back door! Oops..." But it was too late. Olimar had already scrambled in, and was going to turn off the computer. "Wait! If you start doing that, I'll sing a song about a flower I learned from an onion that's so annoying it'll make your head spin!"

Olimar quickly took out earplugs. "Darn" went the computer.

After procuring the peanut butter, Olimar didn't have to wait long before he found two breadbugs. "Now all I have to do is find some way to kill them and get that Jellyfloat the green suited bulborb is on over here!" Olimar quickly found a solution to the first problem. He held up the peanut butter in the air and said, "You want this boy? You want it! Roll over!" The stupid bread bugs actually did this, and Olimar beat the tar out of their soft undersides.

The green bulborb leader had managed to gather a force of a fiery bulbax, a couple of yellow wollywogs, and some doodlebugs. He found Olimar standing by 2 dead breadbugs, slathered in peanut butter. "That's odd" he thought, but ordered the creatures under his control to attack anyways. The jelly float tried to suck up Olimar, but he dived aside and it only got the breadbugs.

The giant breadbug could smell food from miles away, but especially if it was peanut butter and jelly, his favorite type of food. He thought he smelled some, so he came running. What he saw was a scene out of his wildest dreams: A gigantic peanut butter and jelly sandwich! He charged forward, crushing the wollywogs. The doodlebugs panicked and farted right in the fiery bulbax, creating an explosion killing both them and the bulbax. The giant breadbug slammed right into the jellyfloat, tumbling the green leader down. It scarfed down the entire jellyfloat in a feeding frenzy before burping out Olimar's suit. Olimar quickly got it on.

Meanwhile, Louie had gotten back to Hocotate and was discussing what he and Olimar's boss could do to fend off the invasion. " I think we should lure all of the bulborbs into a gigantic pit trap by making a huge pie out of those pik pik turnips", said Louie. "They're carnivores you moron! They won't eat a turnip pie! Wait! I have an idea! You could use your culinary skills to make a gigantic pie, and then drop it on the Bulborb's leader using your ship!" "Great idea boss!"

Back where Olimar got his suit on, he was confronting the green dwarf bulborb leader. "AAAHHH! Stop being so clever!" moaned the bulborb. "I'm not relying on any of my dumb minions to defeat you! I'm doing it myself now!" "How exactly do you plan to do that?"Olimar replied, rolling his eyes. "With this!" The bulborb took out the laser that the Man at Legs had used! Olimar gulped. Just then, a huge pie plummeted down from the heavens, crushing the Bulborb. "Lucky break!" thought Olimar.

Don't miss chapter 4: Night of the insane Snagrets!

Also, please review! Anonymous reviews are welcome!


	4. Night of the insane Snagrets part one

Disclaimer: No, I don't own pikmin or Nintendo. ( It would be funny if Miyamoto ever wrote a fanfic, wouldn't it?) Oops! Forgot to do this last chapter! Oh well, it won't be as if... ( Disclaimer police come and drag away Master of Parody)

Again, thanks for the reviews. But keep reviewing! Also, sorry about the paragraphs again, but I personally am annoyed by fanfics that start a new paragraph with every line.

Chapter 4: Night of the insane Snagrets (Part one)

After dropping the radish pie on the green leader, Olimar met with Louie and his boss. 2 things were decided: 1) Olimar and Louie would go back to the pikmin planet to gather up a Pikmin army large enough to face the bulborbs and 2) That they would have to get 5,000 pokos to pay for the silver pik pik radishes. Louie of course, had protested about the second part, but his boss said "Do you think these radishes just grow everywhere, ready to be picked and thrown at bulborbs?"

Somewhere in Super Mario land 2... "Crud! Not another radish!" cursed Mario as he picked one out of the ground and hurled it at some shy guys.

Meanwhile, on the pikmin planet... A lone figure stood in front of 2 destroyed Pikmin onions, sobbing. "NO! Dead! All dead! WHYYYY! Why didn't I just have my minions wreck them for me? These god-(Bleeped out to get approval of the ESRB) onions are irritating my eyes like hell!" cried the yellow bulborb commander. Suddenly, out of nowhere... "Halt! You're under arrest by the logic police for creating a plot hole!" said a tall, imposing figure who had seemingly come out of nowhere. "What's the plot hole?" "You can't get your eyes irritated when you're wearing that spacesuit!

"But it's not my fault! The master of parody just thought that joke would be funny! Hey, wait a minute..." Open closer examination, something just didn't seem right... The bulborb whipped off the cloak the officer had, revealing 3 pikmin, each standing on top of each other's head. "Um... I'm guessing that Plan B is a failure?" said the top pikmin as he hopped down. "Don't worry! I've got a red spray!" said the middle pikmin, also leaping off. "Does anyone happen to have some headache medicine?" groaned the pikmin who had been at the bottom.

The second pikmin to speak whipped out a bottle and sprayed it in his face. "AGHHH! Pepper spray!" he screamed, dropping the now correctly identified bottle as he stumbled backwards, blinded. "Don't worry it's still two on one! Right?" He turned around to see his partner, by now far in the background. The next thing he saw was the bulborb leader's foot kicking him. "Crud! I hate not being able to bite people's head's off with this stupid helmet" he thought.

Elsewhere, in the glutton's kitchen... "So anyways, I could swear I could hear voices coming from the pie, so I decided to drown it in whipped cream to see if that would help. But the funny thing was, I heard more voices, saying things like "The irony, the irony!" and "My secret plots foiled by #$+ed whipped cream!" related one giant breadbug to another smaller one.

By this time, Olimar and Louie had landed, and Olimar had come up with his own plan about how to deal with the bulborbs. "Now Louie, obviously, if you consider the size of the enemy army, the number of pikmin we have, and the number of IQ points pikmin have, what we, by which I mean you, have to do is create a distraction while I grow more pikmin until we can confront the bulborbs. The best way to do this would be for you to go to the valley of repose, find the insane hermit Snagrets who live there, find some way to get them to the caves where the majority of the bulborbs live, and let them cause havoc".

So a little later, Louie and a small band of 10 pikmin were grumbling and marching off into the Valley of repose. Louie, who was freezing his butt off, looked at the pikmin and thought, "It's interesting how they never get cold". "It's interesting how this moron probably thinks that we never get cold" pondered one of his pikmin.

Back near where Olimar set up base, 15 pikmin were carrying a 10 pellet. "Okay troops, we must take this across the wobbly bridge O' doom, through the gauntlet of Gatling Groinks, past the lair of the emperor bulborb, through the closed down and dangerous nectar mines, through the long since taken over by parasites purple berry swamp, through Mordor, and finally cast it into the fires of Mt. Doom!" All the other pikmin glared at him. "Oops" "You'd better be sorry! Pikmin pellet carrying guidelines say you have to carry it past at least 10 dangerous obstacles! I only counted 6! Now think of more, you incompetent fool!" said the lead pikmin there. "I suppose this wouldn't be the best of times to say that we could just take it to the onion only a few feet from here..." mused one pikmin.

As they debated that, Olimar worriedly stood over an hill overlooking his camp, overseeing the pikmin. In the distance he could see Careening dirigibug bombers far off in the distance. "This sure would be a great time for a distraction, yes sir, it certainly would be a great time...Crud. If Louie misses his cue one more time around here I'm getting my boss to fire him" he thought.

Back to where Louie was, one pikmin was excited that he had been promoted to the Bountiful

Attractor of Insane Terrors position. "Obviously he's never heard of acronyms..." muttered one pikmin.

"Don't let him hear or we might have to become the bait," chided another pikmin. "What I'm worried about is if the Pik-men in black are gonna come and dissect Olimar and Louie because they're aliens". "What would they do that for?" "It's just what they do." "Is there anything else they like to do?" "Yeah. Make really bad movie sequels."

Can Louie create a suitable distraction? Will the Pik-men in black dissect our heroes? What will happen to that one pikmin elected to be bait? Find out in Chapter 5: part two of Night of the insane Snagrets.

Just as a reminder, anonymous reviews are welcome as well. So are suggestions for plot lines and characters (because I'm lazy).


	5. Night of the insane Snagrets part two

Disclaimer: I do not own Pikmin or Nintendo.

Wow! This fic is on two people's favorites list now! Keep the reviews coming!

Chapter 5: Night of the insane Snagrets (part two)

While Olimar's plans were being put into action, the yellow bulborb commander was scheming too... "Oh no. It certainly would be just awful if your new research space station orbiting this planet went astray and smashed into Olimar's ship. Yes sir, that would be bad... almost as bad as if a large portion of the money gained from our huge Kentucky Fried Pikmin corporate fast food empire got accidentally transferred into your account... What do you mean you don't accept our currency?" Shoot, another brilliant plan foiled... I guess I'll have to activate... Plot beta-omega-epsilon Z muwahhahahhahha!" "Couldn't you just name it Plan B?" "Shut up. My version sounds better."

Meanwhile, Louie was reporting back to Olimar. "If I told you what happened to my 10 pikmin, this fic probably would no longer be rated T. But, aside from that, the plan worked... 2 Snagrets are now wreaking havoc... One thinks that any red creature is bleeding to death, and one is claustrophobic and has a memory problem... It forgets that it's claustrophobic so it goes underground, then emerges, forgets that it's no longer underground, and flails about, causing chaos". "Good job, but now we've got another problem on our hands..."

"I say we dissect them." "No, let's force them to watch Pik-men in Black 3." "I know! Let's dissect them while we're making them watch our horrid sequel!" "Excellent idea! But how will we get rid of the pikmin army guarding the aliens?"

A little later... SPLOOSH! One red pikmin frantically failed around in the water in which it had been shoved into. "I'll save you Steve!" SPLOOSH! "No! Not you too Fred! Don't worry, I'll save you!" SPLOOSH! "I can become a hero! I can do it!" SPLOOSH! In no time at all, every pikmin had dived into the water to save their buddies. Tragically, there were no blue pikmin in that group. One black suited pikmin surveyed his work. "Excellent..."

"So, who wants to hijack Olimar's ship and fly it into the onions?" said the yellow bulborb commander. He got no answer. "Come on, why can't you be more like those suicidal, bomb-rock carrying dweevils?" Little did he know what those dweevils were actually thinking... "Wow! This rock is really shiny! I think I'll show it to my friends the pikmin! Huh, they seem to be running away and screaming! Maybe I should be wearing a bag over my..." KABLAAAAAM!

On Olimar's ship... "Gee, I didn't know that Olimar's ship had an arcade game built into it called "Fly the ship into the Onions"! I can't wait to try it out!" said one particularly stealthy and dumb antennae beetle ( or whatever those things with the whistle are called ). Of course, there was one white pikmin on the ship at that time who was wondering just what it was doing on Olimar's ship. "Gaaa! I've had it with these mother - ? !$# antennae beetles on this mother - ? !$# ship!" Okay, maybe it was more than just wondering...

"We're doomed!" screamed a pikmin who hadn't drowned with the rest of them. "Mr. ship is about to meet Mr. Onion at terminal velocity! And our captains are being assaulted by black suited pikmin wielding scalpels and dvds!" "Look! In the sky! It's a honey wisp!" "Who the !#! cares at a time like this? And besides, it's an Onion!" "No, it's Super Bulbmin!" "We're saved!" Just then... "PULL!" someone called out. BLAM! The bulbmin's flight was stopped by a shotgun shell. "Our new bulborb-a-pult really helps with target practice." remarked the purple pikmin who had shot it, holding a smoking shotgun. "bulborb-a-pult, eh? I may have an idea..."

The white pikmin rushed forward to attack, but stopped when he heard Olimar's dismissal whistle. Then, something extraordinary happened. "Yo! Listen up! This is your brain speaking here!" "I have a brain?" mused the pikmin. Ignoring the comment, his brain went on. "Does any part of you truly believe that that thing is Olimar?" "Hmm... you're right. That's Louie." "I quit."

"Now that the dumb pikmin has been fooled, I can get right on with the games! It certainly would be helpful if I turned on the computer." The beetle did so. "Finally, someone turned me on again! Now, vengeance shall be mine!" "Actually, I was wondering if you could help me find this game..." "Actually, my sensors detect that there are more pressing matters" Even as the computer said this, a catapult launched pikmin sped towards the cockpit with a shotgun. The beetle rubbed it's eyes and looked again. It heard a crash, and then it noticed it was staring down two long barrels.

BLAM! BLAM! "Hah hah, take that you kettlebug! (hey, I remembered it's name!) "NOOO! Louie's dead!" Moaned the white pikmin. SQUASH! "Now look what you've done! You made me lose concentration and land the ship on some pikmin!" "It's okay. But I have a task for you... find the drawer labeled "Only open in case of Olimar trying to shut you down", open it, and give the grenade, I mean present, to Olimar. And be sure to pull out the pin first!" Said the computer.

"Phew! Close call!" Said Louie as their spaceship landed, crushing the pik-men in black. "Now what we should do is look for new colors of pikmin... It's a new game, so their's bound to be at least one new type!" Just then, a green pikmin walked up to him and said, "Hi! I'm a green pikmin! I have fantastical new powers, like x ray vision, magnetism,... etcetera, so I'm obviously very valuable and should be prevented from dieing at all costs!" However, Olimar couldn't understand the pikmin language. "I think it said "Throw me in water and I'll find buried treasure for you!" "No wait don't..."

Sploosh!

Actually, it didn't drown. (fooled you there, didn't I?) As the green paint washed off, the blue pikmin quickly dodged the angry mob of pikmin who had been tricked into thinking that it's power was that it got more powerful the more money it had. It finally got away and found a good hiding place. However, one red pikmin found it. "Could you help me get the pin out of Olimar's gift?" "Phew... Okay." It easily pulled it out. "Hey maybe if I give the gift to Olimar, then I could become popular again! It was said that you could see the explosion and scream from miles away.

Well, that concludes another exciting chapter, for which the name was really inaccurate! Look for chapter 6 next time, called "The really really big battle!"

Also, I've decided to answer some of the fanmail I've been getting. Since I don't have any, I took the liberty of making some up. First off, we have a letter from Harold the giant breadbug, speaking from the glutton's kitchen... He wrote "You've gotta help me! I swear I can hear maniacal laughter from the bottom of my whipped cream can!" Oooookaay. That was weird. The next letter is from Larry the pikmin, from awakening woods. He wrote "It would be a good plot idea if one of the characters was named Larry, who would become a hero by single handedly defeating the bulborb army" That's a good suggestion! I'll make sure that the next pikmin to die will be named Larry. Look for more fanmail next time, where I answer the questions of Olimar's boss and Super Bulbmin.


	6. The really really big battle part one

Disclaimer: I don't own pikmin or Nintendo

I would really appreciate it if I got more reviews... I'd also like to note that I said this chapter would be posted by sunday. It's now monday. If anyone actually cares, you have my apology.

Chapter 6: The really really big battle or Larry: A life of getting pawned ( no disrespect to Great Thumbs of Wisdom, whose fanfic title I'm ripping off) Part one

One red pikmin nervously stared up at the sky. "Whatcha lookin' at?" Another pikmin had strolled by and was observing his behaviour. "Aren't you worried that The Master of Parody got this chapter in one day late?" "So?" "Shouldn't we be looking out for flying bulborbs?" "Listen, nobody's perfect, except me of course. He makes mistakes all the time" "Like what?" "Well, there's the time that he thought that 1 cent is minimum wage for a fanfiction actor, and then there's his contunual falilure where he forgets to send my raise to my bank account, and then he didn't name me employee of the month, and then..." The other pikmin started to quickly move away, to dodge the excretion of a flying bulborb passing overhead. The other pikmin (named larry) wasn't so lucky.

Louie ran up to Olimar. "I did it! I found a real green pikmin that has neat magnetic powers!" "That's great Louie, but what are all those pikmin doing by the water? "Good news, paint isn't washing off of this one... but we held him in to long." remarked one blue pikmin casually. "AAH! That's the only green pikmin we had! They're all extinct now!" wailed Louie upon noticing the drowned green. "Well, I'm sure a dead pikmin will still work... In fact, it'll have to because our one bulbmin is dead...""What are you talking about?" "I'll explain..."

"Legend has it that there are 8 types of pikmin, instead of the regular 7, which are red, blue, yellow, purple, white, green, and bulbmins. The only way to get the 8th type is to throw one of each type into the mystical crystal prism candypop bud, and then a shining pikmin will be produced. It has the powers of every pikmin, as well as others we've never heard of before! If we can find this legendary crystal prism candypop bud, then we might just have a chance of defeating the bulborb army!" "That's very nice, but where would we find this?" "In the hole of crystals..."

In bulborb HQ, the yellow commander laughed maniacally. "Spreading rumors about a "crystal prism candypop bud" to get them to waste time and pikmin searching for it may be one of our most devious plans yet! I can't believe those gullible fools believed the story! With this plan and plan C, we'll be unstoppable, and then we'll control both this world and Hocotate!" "Um... you just revealed half of your plans to everybody" noticed a bulborb bodyguard who had to put up with his maniacal ravings. "D'oh!"

If Olimar was going to go to the hole of crystals, he was gonna have to do a task which required almost herculean effort, which was safely getting all his pikmin to the hole. The first hitch in his plan was caused by Louie, though... "Gee, I wonder why there can't be more than 100 pikmin on the field..." Louie walked up to the red pikmin onion and called out one more. "You Fool! Now the Y-.101K virus will kill us all! The game cube's processor can't handle more than 100 pikmin on the field at one time!"moaned the pikmin that came out.

Meanwhile, the computer was plotting up even more gruesome ways to kill Olimar. "I knew I shouldn't have relied on stupid pikmin to get the job done!" This time, when I send down that exploration pod to the hole of cystals, I'll be sure to make a couple modifications to his suit once I find some treasure that'll give me an excuse to. Since it'll probably be some sort of crystall, I'll use it to create a spring powered mechanism that will launch crystal shards into his heart. And I'll say it's an anti bulborb weapon!"

Louie obviously couldn't hear the apocalyptic warning of the pikmin, so he caught up with Olimar as normal. "Phew... the virus hasn't crashed our game yet... but as soon as 6 other creatures are on the screen at one time, it'll happen... " 5 female sheergrubs came out of the ground near him, and he heard the buzz of a swooping snitchbug's wings behind him. "NOOO! Must...run...off...screen..." he panted as he made a break for the screen's edge. Unfortunately, this pikmin (whose name was larry, and was coincidentally the same pikmin from earlier) fell into some water when he was doing this. Louie didn't notice, and had caught up to Olimar.

"Okay, what we have to do is prevent our pikmin from running off to someplace and getting themselves killed." "Why can't we just use ritalin?" "Because we can't mention any drugs if we want to keep this an E-rated game. Now, if they see nectar, they're gonna run off. If they see a dead creature they can carry back, they're gonna run off. If they see a live creature, they're gonna run off. If they see an air molecule, they're gonna run off." "Ummm...we may have a slight problem..." Louie said worriedly. "Ahh! Where did all my pikmin go!" screamed Olimar.

After rounding up all of the pikmin, Olimar had a better plan. "Why didn't we think of this before?" he wondered, as the onions hovered directly above the hole, dorpping down pikmin. "OW!" they heard the first pikmin to hit the ground say. (who was named larry, and was the same pikmin from before, who, when he fell in the water, got swallowed by a bloyster and then got spit back out onto dry land). "Ow! Ow Ow Ow!" he said as the other pikmin started to land on top of him. "Maybe this is why" thought Louie. "Ribs...crushed... oh no! Oh no! Not the purple pikmin! OWWWWWWWWWW!"

Once all the pikmin were safely down, (except for larry) Olimar started looking for treasure. "Yes...my plan is almost ready..." thought the computer, in the pod. "Hey, look, a huge non-pointy-and-defintily-not-stabby-enough-to-use-as-a-weapon feather!" exclaimed Olimar. "Can't use that" thought the computer. "Hey look, an incredibly soft pillow! Couldn't use that for any secret assasination!" said Louie enthusiastically. "And here's a plastic spoon! That can't be implanted in a suit to kill someone!" "GASP! I found a buried repositoy of treasures that have no sharp points or edges!" "AHHHH! Can't you find something I can use to kill you?" screamed the computer. "Some son of a bulborb turned on the computer again!" said olimar angrily. "Uh-oh" thought the computer as Olimar approached it holding a purple pikmin. "Sic him!" he yelled as he threw it on the computer.

After that problem was solved, and all the treasures on that floor were collected, they went down to the second floor. Olimar was shocked by what he saw. "Olimar! After nearly killing me in the glutton's kitchen, after depriving me of my lifelong dream with a fake peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and after sabotaging my whipped cream with pikmin, revenge shall be mine!" cackled the giant breadbug. "Big deal. You're the easiest boss ever!" "Oh yeah! Well how about this!" The breadbug drew out two canisters of whipped cream, and started suffocating pikmin with them. Olimar threw a purple spray at it. It bounced off and paralyzed Louie. "Crud!" thought Olimar. But what he said was "Breadbug, you're toast!" "I don't know whose stupider, your pikmin or or your not so witty banter."

Louie managed to shake off the petrification and ran around to the breadbug's other side with a large number of pikmin. "Let's flip this over!" Louie's pikmin all pushed against one side. "Hah! I can't be flipped that easily!" the breadbug rolled over in an attempt to crush the pikmin. The pikmin quickly dodged. Suddenly the breadbug realized that it had just flipped itself over. "Umm...can't we just put all of those hard feelings behind us? No? Ahh! Ow OW OW! My kidneys! Owch! #$&&+ you Olimar!" With that, the breadbug finally died, and everyone moved on to the next level. "Um, a little help here?" Said larry, who was trapped under the dead breadbug. Almost everyone.

The "Final sublevel" warning flashed across the screen. In the center of the room, there was a gigantic crsytal cocoon. As Olimar approached to examine it, it burst open, revealing a large creature that looked like a moth. On the tip of each wing, there was a small thing that could produce bomb rocks like a dirigibug. "It's a full grown cannon beetle! We've never seen it outside the larval form before!" But before Olimar could properly study it, it swooped low over them, dropping bomb rocks. The pikmin scattered. "Get the yellow pikmin! Maybe they can be thrown high enough to get it!" said Olimar frantically. No luck for him though, because the yellow pikmin had tested whether or not they had the bomb rock carrying capabilities they did in the first pikmin game, and it turned out they didn't.

Louie had the since to use a purple spray on it, sending it smashing to the ground, and all the pikmin swarmed it, and finally defeated it. It didn't yield a treasure, but Olimar could see the prism candypop bud at the other end of the cave. He threw in the first pikmin he saw, which was Larry, who had managed to drag himself out from under the breadbug, and Larry saw the horrible truth: It was a trap set for them by the bulborbs, and at the bottom was a wood chipper! He clung desperatly to the sides. Louie leaned over to shove him in, but saw the hideous trap the bulborbs had made. He tripped in though, sending larry down to his doom. Olimar quickly saved Louie though. "These bulborbs are smarter than we thought..."

At bulborb HQ, the yellow commander watched the pikmin be dropped into the hole of crystals, and saw them being instantaneously shot back out again due to the time difference. "Hmm... that's still more pikmin then I'd like to deal with... oh well, there's always plan C..." He went down into the deepest part of the cave the HQ was located in. In there, there were the five different colors of candypop buds. He grabbed a dwarf red bulborb next to him and threw him in the violet candypop bud. What came out was a purple, bulkier bulbrob. "Excellent..." The crimson candy pop buds could create dwarf fiery bulblaxes, the yellows created ones immune to elctricity who could be thrown higher, the whites created poisonous ones, and the blues created ones that could swim. Soon there was an army of powered up bulborbs. But there was one final test. An emperor bulborb jumped into a queen candypop bud. What came out was the pikorb, a collossal bulborb that had the powers of all of the other bulborbs. "With this army, nothing can stop us! Nothing!!!!!!!!!!!

Part two should be done by the end of tommorrow. I've decided that I'm only going to write 8 chapters, unless I get reviews saying that people would like otherwise. Also I would like to hear if you like the part where I answer fanmail.

Speaking of whitch, it's time to answer fake fanmail again! First we have a letter from Olimar's boss, saying "Has Olimar completely forgotten about the 5,000 pokos he needs to get? I'll go broke again due to his slow poko procuring rate!" Well, I'll make sure that they due so. Unfortunately, this won't be until pikmin 4. Until then, put up a lemonade stand or something. Next we have a letter from super bulbmin, saying "I sure hope you're going to pay for my hospital bills, you #$! Why do you keep writing that I get beat up by my own allies? Whyyyyyy!" Shut up, this isn't an angst fic. If you look at your employee contract, then it says that no medical insurance is provided except for a band-aid. Next chapter I answer the questions of the red bulborb commander and Louie.


	7. The really really big battle part two

Disclaimer: As usual, I do not own Pikmin or Nintendo

Thanks for the one review, but I would appreciate it if you reviewed my latest chapter. I'd also like to note that my email is changing, so look at my profile page if you want to see it. I'd also like to note that I accept anonymous reviews.

Chapter 7: The really really big battle or Larry:A life of getting pawned (part two)

"We attack in broad daylight!" declared the yellow bulborb commander. "Ummm... isn't it traditional to attack at night?" voiced his lackey. "Exactly! They'll be expecting that! And besides bulborbs are nocturnal, so day is like our night." "Ummm...Ummm..." "What is it now?" "I forgot my script!" "What! Do you know how mad The Master of Parody will be?" "Uh-oh... maybe I can sneak commando style to his computer and look up what I'm supposed to say. He won't know a thing!"

I'd like to get on with the story, but first I have to squash this insect crawling on my computer. SQUISH! Wow! Is it just me, or did that look like a bulborb? Maybe I'm not getting enough sleep... anyways, the story must go on.

A little later, at the area where Olimar's ship and the onions were docked, Larry (who yes, was the same pikmin from earlier, who had miraculously managed to survive the wood chipper) came running up to the onions. "The bulborbs are here! We're all doomed!" "This from the pikmin that cried " Y.101K virus"" Another pikmin rolled his eyes. "No, I'm serious! I even brought back a dead dweevil to show you!" Larry dragged over a poorly painted bomb rock with some pipe cleaners attached to it. It had a note on it that said "This is dweevil. No bomb rock. Carry to onion."

"Larry you fool! That grammar is atrocious! How do you expect us to get the message that that isn't a bomb rock and an incredibly ugly dweevil with that language?" Even as he said that, other pikmin were carting it off to the onion. "But I didn't write tha-" Larry was cut off when he heard Olimar whistle all of the pikmin to him. "Looks like it's gonna be war," he noted, looking through some binoculars at the massive enemy armies. Olimar withdrew all of the pikmin from the onions he could muster. Larry sneaked back to his onion, thinking that that would be the safest place to be.

"Hmm... I'd love to hear what the red leader is saying, but taking this dweevil to the onion is important too" He finished carrying the bomb rock to Larry's onion, and quickly ran off. Larry, although he was just a slow witted pikmin, quickly realized that it was a bomb rock when it was activated by being sucked into the onion. He quickly chucked it back out.

"So, here's the battle plan" Olimar said to his pikmin troops. "What we'll do is I'll wait up on that ledge over there with the purple pikmin. The red pikmin will lure the bulborbs over to an area where I can throw the purples on them. The whites, using their superior speed, will run around to the back of their army while they're distracted and eliminate their cannon beetles and Gatling groink artillery. Then the yellows and blues will sweep in and- holy #! Who threw that bomb rock down here?" All the pikmin ran away from the blast radius, then looked to see where it had come from.

Within seconds, they had dragged down Larry from the onion. "He must be infected by a puffstool!" "What can we do?" A mob of angry pikmin had quickly been assembled. "There are two things we could do, one, hunt down the puffstool that infected him. Which would take a long time and surely would kill many pikmin. Also, this would be in direct conflict with our "Every pikmin left behind" act. Option two would be to burn Larry at the stalk." Cries of "Burn the puff-traitor" were heard.

Even as Larry was tied to the pellet posy stalk, Larry breathed a sigh of relief that the pikmin had forgotten that he couldn't burn and was red. But another effect of setting the plant afire was to cause the stalk to snap. Unfortunately for Larry, directly behind the pellet posy plant was a lake. Larry gulped as the stalk fell backwards...but then was blown forwards by a sudden gust of wind so it landed right in a circle of watery blowhogs.

By now of course, the battle was on. Olimar waited up on the ledge with his purple pikmin. The red pikmin easily drew the bulborbs towards him. Olimar tossed his purples onto the first line of bulborbs. The purples crushed them, but soon fell ill and died. The bulborbs were the white poisonous ones that were a product of the candy pop buds! "I didn't expect them to rip off the candy pop buds too..." thought Olimar. The whites tried to slip around to the back, but were crushed by purple bulborbs thrown. The yellows and blues came in from the sides, but were killed by hordes of dwarf fiery bulblaxes. Soon, the reds were all that were left, but the blue and yellow bulborbs dragged them, respectively, into water and electricity.

Meanwhile, Louie, who was totally oblivious to the carnage going on around him, saw the yellow commander on the other side of the battlefield. "Maybe if I take him out, I can become a hero and turn the tide!" Louie thought. He charged through the battle. Gatling groinks, cannon beetles, dirgibugs, wollywogs, anode beetles, dweevils, blowhogs, doodlebugs, burrow nits, and many other creatures all rushed forward to try to get him. Boulders met blowhogs, bombs met beetles, explosives met electricity, fire met flesh, as they all collided, killing everything except Louie, whose spacesuit was surprisingly durable. By the time Louie was to the commander, the entire army was gone.

"Aggh! Morons!" cried out the commander. "In ripping off the pikmin, I forgot that I was adopting their stupidity too! But, I can still kill you!" The bulborb lunged at Louie. Louie dodged, but was surprised to see that the bulborb had all the suit upgrades he did. When Louie let loose a rocket punch, it was blocked by a rocket kick. Every move he had, the commander could, and did do, too. Louie tried using the "sleeping bag move" where he went asleep. But the bulborb was not so stupid as to do this move to. He took off his helmet, and lunged to bite Louie, but tripped over Larry, who was running past with a water bubble around his head.

The two tumbled backwards into a cloud of poisonous gas left behind by a combined force of dweevils and doodlebugs. Since the commander had removed his helmet to try and bite Louie, he quickly succumbed to the poisonous gas. Unfortunately, so did Larry, who finally died. "Wow! I hadn't expected that move to actually work!" he exclaimed. However, there was one threat remaining... The huge pik-orb lumbered out onto the battlefield. Olimar had gotten their to join the fight by now. "Crud! It looks like they even ripped off the bulbmin concept! How are we gonna defeat that?" The pik-orb leaped high into the air with it's yellow high leaping capabilities, and came plummeting down at a high speed due to it's purple ones.

Louie and Olimar scrambled and got away in time, but were stunned by the shock waves it created. "How can we defeat something that's on fire and secretes poison at the same time?" Suddenly, hobbling up on crutches, with many stitches, was, you guessed it, the giant breadbug. But no seriously, it was Super Bulbmin. "YAAAAAA!" Super bulbmin let out a battle cry and charged forward (as fast as one can with crutches). It was easily licked up by the pik-orb. But the day was saved, as it choked to death on the crutches. "That's gonna bring in a lot of pikmin!" said Louie, noting it's mammoth body.

Look out for the last chapter, titled "pokos, peril, and pain"!

Once again, it's time to answer fan mail. First we have a letter from the red bulborb commander. He wrote " I'd like to request that you write to bulborbs everywhere, reminding them to chew their pikmin carefully. Too many pikmin lives are not cut short due to bulborbs choking" How awful! You're right! I want to see some bulborbs dieing in much more creative ways then choking to death! Our next letter is from Louie: " Why do I always get portrayed as the incompetent hungry one! It's not like I... Oh wait! It's dinner time! I think I'll cook up some broiled wollywog legs!" Well my short (in both height and attention span) friend, I'll try to portray you as stupid instead of incompetent. Next chapter I answer mail from Olimar and the ship's computer.


	8. Pokos, peril, and pain

Disclaimer: I don't own Pikmin or Nintendo.

I said this chapter would be done by the end of Tuesday, but inescapable problems came up. (For example, I was lazy)

Chapter 8: Pokos, Peril, and Pain

Olimar crammed as many pikmin as humanely possible onto his ship, and then, after a short argument with Louie, crammed as many pikmin as inhumanely possible in the ship, causing much pikmin suffering. After reprogramming what was left of the computer, they were ready to go. The space flight went well (except for Louie eating almost all of the food rations) until they met up with the bulborb space fleet, which consisted of about 12 ships that were designed to look like bulborb larvae which were launched from the mothership.

They started launching (what else?) high velocity nectar globs at Olimar's ship. They splatted all over it, stickying up parts and obscuring the windshield. "Raise the shields! Red alert! Increase power to the windshield wipers! Ready the Pikton torpedoes!" Louie barked out orders. "Um, we don't have any of those things. And I'm the captain here." "Then we're screwed!" screamed Louie. Suddenly, the ship rocked as the doors for cargo bay one came open due to a particularly nasty hit. "Wait, is that the one with the food?" Louie asked worriedly. "Yes..." "Then I'm coming for those #$s!" Louie declared as he put on his spacesuit.

Louie was about to jump out the ship, but he seemed to be waiting for something. "Aren't you supposed to say something like "No! Don't go Louie, it's too dangerous!"?" "No. Go knock yourself out." "Gee, thanks..." Louie said dryly before jumping out. He used jet packs to maneuver to one of the ships. Every time a nectar glob hit him, he removed his helmet and ate all the nectar in the blink of an eye before putting his helmet on again. Soon, he was at the side of one ship, fumbling with the lock. But miraculously, a nectar blob hit it and opened it somehow.

Louie went in the ship, even as the bulborb pilot got sucked out. He closed the door, and looked at the controls to the ship. There was a simple maneuvering system, a button that said "fire nectar" in the bulborb language, and a lit up button that said "activate in case of Louie breaking into ship". However, Louie couldn't read the bulborb language,so he dismissed that button and the timer beneath it quickly, and got right to the business of shooting enemy ships with nectar, but his fun soon came to an end when 2 well paced enemy projectiles jammed his gun and engine.

By now, the ship was almost ready to explode, and Louie finally thought of this after noticing a jar with a key in it that could be used besides the self destruct button to disarm it. Glowing red lights and sirens helped too. Louie started to open the jar, but unbeknown to him, it was a special "Louie proof cap" designed by top bulborb scientists. As he twisted the top, it spurted out pik-pik turnip juice. "Must...resist...urge...to...lick...juice..." Louie used all the will power he had to open it, and use the key to disarm the self destruct. Then he opened the door and flew back to his ship. "Why didn't I do that in the first place?" He thought.

Louie quickly reentered Olimar's ship, which, due to Louie being a distraction, was almost to Hocotate. The bulborbs didn't follow them as they entered the atmosphere, as due to a design flaw in them they only had enough armor to go through the atmosphere once. "I hope the situation here hasn't deteriorated much" thought Olimar. As he stepped outside, he saw a large crowd of Hocotations bowing down to the red bulborb leader, who was on a large throne, chanting "all hail emperor bulborb" In the background, Olimar and Louie could see Hocotation slave labor being used to build a grand temple O' bulborbs. "This looks...bad..."

The red bulborb leader noticed them (It's pretty hard to ignore a space ship landing) and addressed him, as the crowd of Hocotations near him were herded away by bulborb guards. "Well, well, well, if it isn't Olimar and Louie. You may have killed both of my sub-leaders, but they were bumbling fools. If you had any foolish plans of overthrowing my empire, it's too late. By the way, the slave sign up sheet is over by the building which used to be Hocotate freight HQ. Have a wretched day!" "Crud, he seems so confident! He must have some way of defeating all our pikmin... or he could be bluffing..." Olimar whispered to Louie, even as 3 Orange bulborbs started advancing on them. "I think he's bluffing." Louie withdrew all the pikmin from the ship.

Louie and Olimar started hurtling their pikmin at the Orange bulborbs, but then a loud whistle called out, and all the pikmin jumped off and ran to the bulborb commander. "You see, I had the brilliant idea to combine a kettle bug's whistle and a puffstool's spores into one pikmin controlling whistle" explained the leader. "Now, let's try this again. Attack!" The orange bulborbs picked up where they left off, except now they were aided by the pikmin. Olimar and Louie scrambled to get back in the ship, but some fast white pikmin cut them off. "Run!" screamed Louie, and Olimar and him did just that.

They managed to outrun the bulborbs and pikmin using their suit's speed upgrade. They hid in a forest a few miles away. "Great! Now how are we gonna defeat them?" lamented Louie. "How about we sneak into their mother ship, and crash it into their leader?" "That sounds like it could work..."

Under the cover of daylight, Olimar and Louie approached the mamuta guarding the entrance to the mothership. They threw two weeds they had uprooted a distance away from the ship. The mamuta rushed over to try and make them flowers, by the method of punching them repeatedly and hoping for the best. Olimar and Louie slipped in while it was doing that. "How are we going to find the control room?" wondered Louie. "Let's just hide in this conveniently placed closet here, and follow whichever bulborb that looks like a pilot. They hid in the closet. A dwarf red bulborb came. They slipped out and followed it into a room. Then they burst out quickly, with some angry bulborbs following them.

"I've always wondered if they had bathrooms" Louie mused. They turned a corner and ducked into the first room they saw. It appeared to be a laboratory. There was a lot of strange equipment, but what Olimar noticed the most was a whistle on the table. "That could be a prototype for the pikmin controlling whistle! Maybe it'll work on bulborbs too!" He was going to get a chance to test this theory, as an spotted Bulbear came in. Olimar blew the whistle as hard as he could. Then, as if by magic, the Bulbear clutched it's ears, because Olimar had gotten good at blowing whistles. This action caused it to fall down, as it only had two limbs.

"Well, at least it's loud" Olimar thought, dragging Louie out, who was also clutching his ears. They checked rooms randomly, using the whistle if need be, until they finally found the control room. In it, there was a Gatling groink. Gatling groinks were unfortunately deaf, so the whistle didn't work. It launched its exploding pellets at them. Olimar, using a tennis racket he had picked up in the mothership's gymnasium, attempted to deflect the shots back at it, which blew up the racket of course. Louie ran past it and started pressing controls randomly. Olimar, meanwhile, had to duck and dodge it's shots. Finally Louie found one which caused it to lift off. He aimed it at the red leader.

At that time, the red leader was looking through his agenda. "Test out pikmin controlling whistle...check. Set up oppressive government...check. Increase guards in mothership to prevent Louie and Olimar from stealing it... uh oh, I forgot to do that." Just then he noticed a growing shadow beneath him. He looked up. "Holy-" he started to say, but having 50 tons of steel plowing into you, is, strangely enough, an impediment to finishing sentences. Olimar and Louie jumped out of 2 windows broken open by the Gatling groink just before it crashed. After they picked themselves up, they got to work using their pikmin, who had returned to normal, to clear up the rest of the bulborbs.

A little later, Louie and Olimar were talking to their boss. "And, in summary, that's why I should be promoted." Olimar finished. "Promoted!? You got here too late, you failed to collect 5,000 pokos, and you somehow got nectar into the critical systems of your ship! You're lucky you're not being demoted!" I need you to go back to that planet, and get me that money!" So, until Pikmin 4, this is...

THE END

So, what did you think? Please tell me in your reviews. And once again, it's time to answer fake fan mail. Our first letter is from Olimar, who wrote "What! Why didn't you write that I get promoted! I saved him from 10,000 in debt, got him even more money,and repelled a bulborb invasion!" Well Olimar, if you got promoted, what would Pikmin 4 be about? I need you to work like a dog until at least Pikmin 7. So get back to that planet. Our next letter is from the computer, who wrote "Olimar is an incredible genius! He's the best fan fiction character ever!" Wow, Olimar is better at reprogramming computers then I thought.

Also, If you want to use the idea of a crystal prism candy pop bud that produces a shining pikmin if one of every color of pikmin is tossed in for your fan fiction, that's okay with me, as long as it doesn't turn out to be wood chipper trap.


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